As sitting for 10 minutes a day got filed in my mind as “should do” or “have to do” I started noticing a tendency to procrastinate. This procrastination is a form of resistance, of opposing control and authority. It has been very interesting to dig deeper and figure out where this comes from. Who am I trying to oppose? What control have I lost that I am trying to regain? Childhood sit, of course. But it’s good that I noticed it and I can attempt to work through it, because these days I end up resisting and opposing myself, which is not something that serves me well.

Hamsa meditation

This week is a different kind of meditation – a mantra aligned with the in-breath (ham) and the out-breath (sa). More about hamsa meditation on Yoga Journal’s site. I try to be cautious about mantra meditations, because I know just enough to understand that if mispronounced, or not chosen well for each particular person, they can be misleading (OK, my Hindu husband is the source of this information). But I am open to trying, and seeing how it feels.

And after only 2 days of hamsa meditation, I find that this is powerful stuff for me. It feels good, it resonates well with my being. I am surprised at how quickly it brings me to a very peaceful, quiet state. Then, I stop on the brink of something and I am afraid to let go because I don’t know what’s beyond. So my mind returns to thinking. And the mantra. And back to the brink. And repeat 3-4 times in the space of only 10 minutes. I guess that’s the problem of not having immediate access to a trusted teacher who can guide you or coach you or catch you if you fall.

This site has what seems to be a more in-depth explanation of the hamsa meditation, though I am in no position to evaluate the credibility of this information. [Update]But, the more I read the information on this site, the more I like it. This article about the levels and dimensions of consciousness may provide some answers as to what that brink I experienced is about.

Have you had similar experiences?